Couldn't they both lose?

Well, happy new year everyone and welcome back. As I blog this evening, I just finished watching the Fiesta Bowl between Texas (who won) and Ohio State. Both of these schools have great tradition, historically rich programs and good quality fan support with a passionate fan base for either side. Now that I have sufficiently stroked the egos of the collective fan bases, let me tell you how I really feel...

I sincerely wanted both teams to somehow lose. I really do not like either Ohio State or Texas, for the following reasons:

Let's start with Texas. First of all, let me just say that they are the other UT. If you are an alum of one historic UT program, you cannot cheer for the other one. It is like something you learn at freshman orientation. More upsetting to me is that Texas has zero originality in their marketing efforts. This is upsetting because they are Texas for God's sake - they should not copy anyone. And yet, I submit the following concerns...Have you ever looked on their sidelines and seen the white caps with the orange T and the orange bill? Do those look familiar? If you ever saw Bill Dance Outdoors in the '70s and '80s, you know that Tennessee originally had the "Power T" and sold those caps for years and Mr. Dance popularized them throughout the south. So, that is our damn Power T - it's been on our helmets for years after all. Second, they now have even begun playing a tune called the Tennessee March after each first down. Listen to it next time you see the shorthorns play and in your mind, spell out V-O-L-S, V-O-L-S, go vols go after every Texas first down. Finally, in the coup de gras of all pitiful unoriginality, I was watching a Texas basketball game last year and outside of their arena they were flying orange and white checkboard flags. I was stunned to silence. Let us be clear here on some points about the famed orange and white checkerboard. Coach Doug Dickey first painted the checkerboard orange and white endzones at Tennessee in 1964. 1964 folks. They were still using lead based paint at that time. Since then, there have been some understandable wannabe frauds that have copied said genius (notably Northwestern and Fresno State). But, seriously, you are Texas. Have you no pride??? Even though imitation is the sincerest form of flattery - the unoriginality of such a storied and rich program is pathetic.

Now let's move to Ohio State. I actually used to like Ohio State, until I moved to the midwest. My hatred for them is pretty simple. If you live in any state bordering on Ohio, the amount of bloviation about Ohio State is just unbearable. I mean, if I hear that they are THE Ohio State University one more time, I am going to scream. Also, you call your band the 'best damn band in the land'. Really? They wear berets - period. Anyway, between the clearly blind band reference and the constant insistance on using THE, I am simply not a buckeye fan. Their entire act seems a bit pretentious, doesn't it?

Even with this clear dislike, I did find something that I like about each of the programs, and comparing those two likeable items, I feel Texas comes out on top. For Ohio State, I do enjoy the tasty peanut butter and chocolate buckeye treats served at their tailgates and that tend to show up at my office anytime any Big 11 team actually wins any bowl game (since Ohio State cannot seem to). I love these goodies, I must admit. I got some for Christmas actually.

For Texas, see below.