FFF's Recession Survival Plan

In these difficult economic times, it can prove difficult to find reliable sources of income. Do not panic, the guys at FFF are here to help. Below are three failproof money making schemes that you can try.

(1) Become an NBA head coach - This is one job market that is hopping. I am sure that you (like myself) probably have paid zero attention to the NBA this year and that you also may question whether you have the proper qualifications for such a job. Those are really both non-issues. Ultimately, with already six new coaches named just since the start of the season, there is clearly a revolving door in this position and eventually there will be a spot for anyone remotely interested. The money maker here is really the 'buy out' clause within your contract. Get a good one drafted as part of your contractual agreement, as these jobs last about as long as high school love affairs. Also, if you feel you need some publicity, call Stephen A. Smith. He has reported on nothing of substance all year except for these 'who cares' coaching changes - so, he is your guy.

(2) Promote the guy who beat your ass. This is a genius scheme for sure. In case you missed it, last week Oscar De La Hoya got destroyed in a boxing match against Manny Pacquiao. Most watching the fight may have assumed De La Hoya is just past his prime - which is fair. I found other motivations today, when it was announced that Pacquiao has already scheduled his next big pay per view match-up against Ricky Hatton. Any guesses on who is promoting that fight? You guessed it - De La Hoya's 'Golden Boy' promotions company. This is a genius moneymaker. Take a nasty beating to prop up your client's publicity and then sign him for millions on the next fight. Golden Boy indeed.

(3) Sue NASCAR. Did you see the latest? NASCAR has decided to settle a sexual and racial discrimination case for $225 million dollars. My initial reaction to this is that you can slap my ass and call me Charlie and post clips of that online if you want, as long as the payout is $225 million dollars. Clearly, the charges are no laughing matter, but that is powerball type money. I mean seriously, if NASCAR has that kind of cash to pitch at a settlement, don't you think they should consider helping the big 3 automakers? After all, without the cars, the racing could really suck. Plus, better NASCAR saving their butts than you and I, huh? Oops - don't say NASCAR and butts in the same sentence. That could cost you.