Zubaz or Crocs

I had the good fortune of attending a Colts game this weekend. It makes my second visit to the Oil Can this year. The game was great, but when I was leaving I almost stumbled down the stairs in pure fear. I witnessed three different people (not together mind you) all wearing Zubaz clothing articles. For those who don't know or recall what that is, I have posted a photo reminder here on the page. Now, first of all - before you go knocking Indianapolis, I am going to stop you in your tracks. I have seen Zubaz at several different NFL venues, from Atlanta to Tampa to St. Louis. So, believe me, it's an epidemic and considering it started in the early '90s, I has gone on far too long.

Anyway, my question for you is not whether you like Zubaz or not. You are reading the FFF blog, so let's assume you have some sense of the world and do not like them. My question is this: Which is a greater mark against the United States fashion industry - Zubaz or Crocs?

My problem with Crocs existed long before the escalator incidents started costing people limbs. At that point, I actually hoped the government would step in and make these ugly pieces of plastic waste completely illegal. My problem with crocs is that I am truly concerned that there are Dutch tourist that are taking them back home as souvenirs from their trip to the states. Like so many American families with little wooden Dutch shoes in their homes, somewhere in Holland exist a family with a pair of Crocs on their coffee table with a Colts logo on top and a 'I heart NY' button stuck in one of the air holes meant to let the stinky plastic smell escape from your feet. Think about it.

Confessions of a Bowden Apologist

Its amazing that I have gone this long without commenting first on any Clemson related and second on the firing of recently deposed Tommy Bowden. Tonight I have to share my thoughts on the latter. Let me first start by saying I'm a big Bowden fan, good guy and solid man are probably the first phrases that jump to your mind which can be a bad thing when your occupation is that of a college football coach. Usually you want the first things to be brilliant tactician or makes great adjustments, but that just wasn't in his DNA. If you are a Bowden fan you like the more subtle qualities he poses, a great smile and great hair are both something he posesses. A great speaker on the rubber chicken circuit otherwise known as the winter IPTAY meetings. Bowden is physically a smaller man, but in small groups you forgot about that and gave yourself over to his charm and laughter and the feeling that he was really only speaking to you and the wink he gave you would seal the deal in your mind.

For a long while after family and friends had given up on Tommy I was still on his side and I'll admit that even a day after his departure from CU I'm still on his side. I won't bore you with the "little" things that can derail a coaching career like players out of control or NCAA violations, neither of which were hallmarks of Bowden's tenure with the Tigers. Instead I want to talk reality. Its been often said around Clemson that the 1981 national championship was both the best and worst thing to happen to the University. The best because national championships aren't handed out and to win one puts you on the college football map. Its the worst because unreal expectations are created and everyone from LaVell Edwards to Lou Holtz can tell you that the planets need to align perfectly in order to win a national championship. Clemson fans for the most part don't see that. The recruiting classes that Bowden brought in and the preseason ranking this year they thought were enough and its obvious they weren't. Bowden won games and beat some pretty decent teams in his 10 years, but never became the consistent winner everyone wanted. The reasons for this are many and can't be catalogued in a blog. I thank Bowden for everything he's done. No doubt about it that he left the program in a much better place then when he found it. If I could give one piece of advice to the next coach its that you better win and you better be prepared to do it short order because to most Clemson fans, the BCS title game is right around the corner. Unfortunately the orange colored glasses most of them wear can't see what really doomed Bowden the last couple of years. For sure his decisions weren't that great whether they dealt with play calling or his choices of assistants. But, in the end players play the game and his collection of student-athletes fell victim on many occasions to their perception of themselves as All-Americans. There was too much "me" and not enough "we" on that team. Bowden couldn't throw the ball and couldn't block the defenders. There are 85 scholarship student-athletes out on that field and not even half earned what they were given. Yeah the players practice hard and they go to class, congratulations here is your ribbon for that. But as players you must perform on Saturdays and there was no performance by many of them. I think the public saw their performances in the media with their comments after the firing. Nice to see they could find the cameras and lights of the media on Monday when many times the most outspoken of the players couldn't find the endzone or their teammates that were wide open. I titled this an apology and that's what it is, an apology to Tommy for all of us Tiger fans not living up to what you signed on for.

Hungry as a Bear....for Subway!

Dateline: Indianapolis, IN - Why? Because that's where Jared Fogle lives.

Anyway, if the northern lights shine brightly and you find yourself traversing the majestic pine-laden landscapes and maple syrup factories of our neighbors to the north (that's Canada for geography majors from South Carolina) and you crave a slice of Americana--one of those marginally satisfying Subway subs--take heed.

Beyond the risk of acquiring a drop-down menu's worth of health challenges and viral manifestations, the Surgeon General and Jared Fogle have advised North American Subway patrons to keep an eye out for "grizzly" customers displaying little patience and heavy-paw...I mean handed kodiak...err guerrilla tactics. If you happen upon one of these feisty Fogle furry foes, beware. And no, we are not speaking of the Hamburglar.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjrI5ELkj3Y

Part-time Subway employee and full-time Napster aficianado, Tommy Hanson, 17, was startled by the developments captured on security video at his place of employment. "Work already stunk because I was on bathroom duty," said Hanson, whose Ipod exclusively plays Canadian classic rockers, Rush, and the theme to Hockey Night in Canada. "Now we have bears marching through our 'fixins' aisle. If a bear deficates in a Subway and no one is around, does it make a sound?" Hanson's smarmy remarks landed him on permanent bathroom detail although he raises a very existential question that would make Kafka proud.

At press time, the bear was last seen fleeing into the streets of Calgary after trying to turn in a roll of counterfeit Subway "stamps" at a Subway store in Banff. The stamps were confiscated once officials realized the frequent customer appreciation program went defunct several years ago.

Things to Ponder for your Thursday

Unfortunately, the MAN tried to hold us down for a few days by forcing our blog offline while they reviewed it as possible spam. Clearly, these people are Cubs fans. Just because you do not like what we have to say, and just because there are only 3 people who have ever seen this blog is no reason to take it offline. Luckily, Jess threatened to call Google himself, and things started changing rapidly.

So, here are a few thoughts of the day...

- You may have noticed that Adam "pacman" Jones got into a bit of trouble last night. Surely this is not true. Can you believe it? I am truly shocked.

- If you read today's Sporting News, you probably noticed that Tulsa's head coach believes that they belong in the BCS if they win out. Before you get ahead of yourself pal, let me point out a few things. First, I have no problem with you in the game IF you go undefeated. Here is where my problems are. The uniforms you sported in your last game are hideous. Fox simply could not allow those damn things on a national broadcast. I could not even find a picture online - my guess is that the MAN banned those from the internet also. Good idea. These things look like a bad middle school uniform. I guess they are some throw back deal, but they seem like the uniforms Jerry Rice wore at Mississippi Valley State. That was in the early '80s - thank you very much. My other issue with Tulsa is that they are the 'golden hurricanes'. Here is all I will tell you. Based on what i know about golden anything from my internet research, it just ain't good. Who would they play in the bowl game - the Utah Dirty Sanchez's?

- Finally, I am not so happy with Best Buy. This is like me saying that I don't like pornography or beer by the way, because Best Buy is one of life's great pleasures. Anyway, I am a Police fan, and they had a new CD/DVD coming out this week to be offered exclusively at Best Buy. I was excited about this. I checked the Best Buy website on Monday to see if the release date was still Tuesday. No indication otherwise. Yesterday, I go out of my way by about 10 miles to the closest Best Buy store and when I ask about the cd/dvd the punk clerk simply goes online on the store computer and sees that the release is November 11. Ugggh. I realize, of course, that the record companies notoriously delay release dates and it’s truly not Best Buy’s fault. But, the clerk made me feel like John McKane or something – like I could not use the internet on my own. Anyway, I will forgive Best Buy sometime between now and November 11 and check the internet that morning before making another pilgrimage to their store.

Conflicts of Interest

This next post is one that I'm going to encounter this Thursday night and on my drive back from Gatlinburg, TN yesterday its one that gave me pause. By the way if you eat at the "Pancake Panty" is cash only.

What do you do when two teams that you root for are playing on the same night. On Thursday night the Phillies will be playing at 8:30 and the Clemson Tigers will be playing Wake Forest on ESPN at 7:30 or so, which means I have the dreaded overlap. Now for purposes of this debate lets say that I dont have the luxury of going to a local bar and having two giant screen televisions side by side and lets also assume I don't have picture and picture at home or more than one television set in my living room.

How should the decision making flowchart go? Does regular season versus postseason competition matter? The Phillies will playing the Dodgers in the NLCS and Clemson will playing regular season game 5. Clearly the more important competition is the one involving the Phillies. Does the amount of competition matter? The Phillies have played over 162 ball games to this point and Clemson only plays 12 regular seson games. That means close to 8% of Clemson's season will be played on this one night while less than 1% of the Phillies season will be played on that one night. Hmmmmmmm.

This could be a tougher choice than the Pepsi Challenge.

Cubs and MMA, though not related

Okay kind of a quick recap of the weekends top stories before I have to go pick up my kid.

First the Cubbies, wow we are way beyond a curse right now and have entered into the twilight zone. There is a scene in the Mark Wahlberg movie "Invinceble" where his wife writes on a piece of a telephone book that his character will never make money and will basically not amount to anything. Cubs fans I'm here to tell you, "You will never ever win a World Series". This was your best shot in ages and it didn't happen. Better continue like going to the Friendly Confines because at the end of the year that's all you will have.

Now on to MMA or (Mixed Martial Arts), okay this is not a sport. Any activity that is reenacted on any elementary school playground everyday of the year does not constitute a sport. There is no skill in two individuals just throwing haymakers at one another. I saw this happen and had this happen to me from ages 8-12.

You never forget your first

I thought it would be appropriate given the name of our new blog to have my first post appear on a Friday. I hope everyone enjoys our little blog it should be a little fun.

Just like the best ever "Weekend Update" host on Saturday Night Live, Dennis Miller, used to say, "Here's the news and what can I tell ya?"

Okay, with the baseball playoffs in full swing let me take an opportunity to do something I will talk about from time to time, the announcers. TBS has the divisional rounds of the baseball playoffs in both leagues and all in all they have done a decent job in their picks for announcers at each site. Since I've been watching the Phillies/Brewers series let me begin there. Joe Simpson and John Smoltz provide the color commentary in this series and I think they have done a tremendous job. I've learned more from John Smoltz in two games then Joe Morgan has taught me in the 10 years he's been on the endless hype machine that is ESPN. Joe Simpson spent years drinking the Braves kool-aid so I didn't think he knew much, but even he has done a decent job. The real problem that TBS has is that they named Chip Carey as their number one announcer. Now there is a reason why FOX dropped him from their coverage and by the way I'm not looking forward to seeing Kevin Kennedy and Eric Karros spout their babble here in a few weeks.

I'll keep you up to date on who I think is doing a good job, as a preview Harold Reynolds will be in my cross hairs here in a few weeks and it wont be pretty. In case you don't remember Harold got a little friendly with the female staff at the HYPE, that's ESPN in your vanacular.

Now lets look forward and backwards at the weekend in college football. Great game last night between Pittsburgh and South Florida which is something new for the Big East. I was pretty happy that Pittsburgh won last night because the last thing I wanted to see at 10:30 last night was Matt Grothe and his cheerleader girlfriend swapping spit on national tv after another victory. Although props to Matt Grothe for being a big Chick Fil A supporter, they are the Rolls Royce of fast food. Several good matchups out there this weekend and one of our bloggers will be at the Mizzou-Nebraska game to give you on-site reporting.

Until next time keep your feet in the ground and keep reaching for the stars.